** I wrote this post almost a year ago, re-read it today and it needs to be said.***
Originally written August 2009
My Grandmaw is 96 years old and has diabetes and dementia, so she has to have 24 hour care (at the very least, some one responsible for her). My parents cared for her in their home for almost 6 years, but back in April of 2008, she fell and broke her arm. She has been in an assisted living home near my parents since then. You should see this place. They have maybe 10-12 residents, and Grandma gets 24 hour care. This place costs a pretty penny, but it is worth it and she is worth it. My dad goes to see her everyday. If he is out of town on business, my mom will go. Sometimes they go together.
Let me back up for a minute to tell you about the care that mom and dad gave her at home. When she came to live with them, my dad said that it wouldn't change their lives much. (My mom's mother had lived with them for a year. She passed away and 6 months later, they took in Grandmaw.) They planned to hire a sitter to care for Grandma. D0 you know how hard it is to find someone trustworthy, capable, affordable, and dependable? They have had a few that were great and some that were far from it. Ok, so they got a sitter. Usually she came for 8-10 hours a day. That leaves 14-16 hours a day that my parents were responsible for her. When dad was out of town, mom needed to be home by a certain time to let the sitter go home. My parents did this willingly. They could have put her in a nursing home. They knew she would be happier in their home and probably have extended her life in doing so. Sitters are great to have, but having an employee in your home 8-10 hours a day can get old. You begin to feel you have no privacy. Going on trips is difficult... near impossible. Don't forget this is during the time that Dustin died too.
My dad is happier around his mother. He truly enjoys her company. He loves to see her eyes light up when someone brings in a child or a child hugs her or if a great grandchild is brought for her to meet. He loves to tell her about taking his grandchildren fishing. My dad had hip surgery in April. He went by "Grandmaw's house" (as my children call it) on the way home from the hospital. Let me take a moment to talk about my daddy too. My eyes are burning with tears as I type because my dad is honest, trustworthy, wise, caring and loving. For anyone to say anything differently, they just don't know my dad. He helps those in need... many times over. He knows what FAMILY means. He has told me before when we have gone out of our way for family members... that is what family does for family. My mom's family is included in that statement. They are his family too.
I am saying all this because my parents can't. They have sacrificed a lot to care for my grandmother. They use grandmaw's money for her care, but they also use their own money to care for her. They don't complain. They love grandmaw and want the best for her. She gave birth to 8 children (2 boys and 6 girls). They all graduated college. She gave parenting her all. She has even given grandmothering her all.
She does have dementia, so she doesn't call us by name anymore, but she can get on a roll (as we call it). She will talk about when she was a child or when she was younger. She is quiet most days, but when we get a diamond in the rough, we enjoy hearing her comments and quick wit. Yes, she still has that quick wit at times. She enjoys pretty flowers and crepe myrtles. She notices little children and smiles. She will even share her legos with Riley, but quickly reminds him to bring them back when he is done. She enjoyed looking out on the lake from my parents' back porch. She would watch the boats go by and comment on how many were out and about that day.
I wasn't close to either one of my grandmothers as a child. I am glad that God gave me the opportunity to get to know each of them better as an adult.
