Father's Day and Dustin's Birthday

We made it through Father's Day and Dustin's birthday. D's birthday actually fell on Father's Day this year. We had our emotional outburst last Wednesday night, so we did ok yesterday. We went to church and then to Granny and Paw Paw's to spend the night. We are going to plant some flowers at D's grave on Tuesday, because rain is expected on Wednesday.

Ok, so our emotional evening....

Riley had been struggling to go to sleep for two nights and I got short with him which led to everything coming to a head.

Riley: I am having bad thoughts and my mind is telling me to say something really BAD. It's really really bad, Mommy, can I tell you? Can I say it?

Me: Is is a bad word? (I was going to have him just try to spell it.)

Riley: No.

Me: Well, of course, tell me.

Riley: My mind is telling me to say that I hate God, but Mommy, I don't hate God. I love God. I love God with all my heart.

Of course we then talked about how it is the devil trying to get him to say that. I told him that the devil likes to try to reach us when we are down. I told him he was doing the right thing, and all he has to say is God's name or Jesus' name and the devil has to leave him alone. We prayed and then he started talking about how much he misses his Daddy and we both cried (a good healthy cry for both of us) We talked about Dustin and all the good times he had with his Daddy. Then he went back into Reagan's room and went right to sleep. I think he just needed to get all of that off his chest. Of course, you would think that I would recognize the symptoms before we get all worked up, but maybe next time. It was a good night for a good cry.

Thank you to all who have e-mailed, called, and commented on my last post, and thank you for the prayers. Keep 'em coming. I have a lot I could say on the subject, but it is just hard to talk (write) about it right now.

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On a lighter note, you should see Reagan swim! I want to learn how to attach a video clip to a post. First, I guess I need to figure out how to get it on my computer. Even before that, I need to get it on tape! She is a hoot! She is trying so hard to dive for stuff, but she has trouble getting to the bottom because she is so buoyant. She gets me to push her toward the bottom, then she grabs the object and allows herself to float back up. It is so funny to watch. She has even let go of her float in the deep end and swam to the ladder! I just watched and didn't freak out!


Here is a photo of Riley and Reagan at D's grave last month. The flowers were from Rod and Sue (Dustin's parents).